kings ski club racing

Western League
With Kate transferring to the midland league to enable her to play footballfor West Bromich Albion and Andre out in Washington on a driving holiday (in his white van), the western league was left to John and Duncan.

Early fancy dress efforts indicated that the '03 year is going to be a vintage, Plymouth and Bristol choosing to dress as "pimps and bitches", Cardiff making an admirable first effort coming as "Tom Browns school days", Swansea's assorted sports stars included a surfer (with board) a horse rider (with horse) and a climber (with crabs and crampons), Exeter claim to be saving their costumes for round 2, and Glamorgan and Bristol poly either came as the invisible men or were a no show, finally a special mention goes to Matt Dorrs who single handedly won the prize (a crate of Stella) for Bristol by coming as Gareth Gates!

With the skiing underway early show offs included Andy for his forward roll start, Hannah for the longest slide (legs akimbo) and Alan "the lift" who got big air on the way up. The results carried on from last year Plymouth dominating the snowboarding with Bristol bringing up the rear (and a fine rear it was too J). From the welsh teams special mention goes to Gemma's sister who once met Stifflers mother, and Owen the Swansea bird-man who continued to snowboard despite breaking his left arm until he broke his right arm as well, (he was last seen being taken to the toilets by a large Afro Caribbean gentleman called Bubba).
The best babes event was won by the Bristol girls, who coincidentally won the ladies skiing, the Cardiff and Swansea girls managing to squeeze in between the Bristols and the Devon maids, who were creamed by absolutely everybody.

The mixed event was narrowly won by a fine Bristol 1 performance beating Cardiff 1 in the final, Plymouth 1, Bristol 2 and Exeter 1 making up the top 5, and Swansea 2 not to be left out claimed the wooden spoon and pumpkin for last.

A special thanks goes out to the bloke from the slope who did his best to confiscate all the alcohol……..good work!

A boisterous prize giving was shocked into silence by the fact that not only were there T shirts at round 1 but there were small girlie ones available too……..(well done to Duncan)……..thanks also to the Bristol girls who stripped off and put theirs on there and then………we will be getting you kings pants for the second round!!!

The apres ski event went on all night Chris and Sian showing that inter-uni relations are as close as ever, and big Bevan letting us know he likes his welsh rare-bit!!.………bring on Gloucester and don't forget to put any fancy dress themes on the website messageboard.

North West League
12 mixed, 5 ladies and 5 boarding teams made up the racing for round 1 of the Northwest league. Sunny Rossendale was the venue for Saturdays racing. Unfortunately by the time racing began it was dark, cold and damp!

A delayed start gave the teams a bit of time to warm up and get used to the plastic once again. Mixed racing began with last years league winners Manchester giving yet another strong performance. 2nd place Bangor failed to show, so competition came from Lancaster, Liverpool, Salford and Leeds.

King of the start gate, KSC official Mark, was at the top of the slope throwing teams down the course in quick succession, while KSC official Matt assumed his favourite, low stress position at the bottom!

An hour into the nights racing the North West's new KSC officials Helen and Robin made a guest appearance and began the long and challenging process of learning how to run a Kings League race.

The racing began and it was soon apparent that the level of ability in the North West has risen yet again. A few exceptions were noted namely Rob from Lancaster 2 with his numerous stumbles, Jo from Salford 2 with her stylish tumble and Oli from Manchester 3 with a nice fumble. Last but not least AFTER racing had finished, Charlie gave a stunning face plant, which gave us a bit of a scare (see photo).

The racing was fierce and competitive all night across all the disciplines. Leeds ladies came home first closely followed by Liverpool and then Lancaster.

Manchester boarders gave a repeat performance from last year and finished first with Lancaster very close behind. Salford took bronze with some strong individual performances.

The Mixed event was very closely fought with Manchester 1 only just coming out on top. Lancaster 1 were fighting to the very end but were denied in the last race of the evening. Leeds 1 beat Manchester 2 to finish 3rd and claim two bottles of classy Charmaine! A full results table can be seen below.

That's about it for round 1 of the North West league except for a little factual information we thought we'd share for the greater good: Sad/Stupid facts from the evening:

- There were 588 completions of the courses
- 61 pints/35 litres of alcohol were handed out in the prize giving
- 93 Chupa Chups disappeared during the evening
- 168 different big toes went down the course
- Best side profile - Zoe
- 28 red and blue poles
- Longest University name - Manchester
- Oldest racer, Darren (aka Sidies) from Salford
- Most erect nipples in a KSC T-Shirt, Race Official Matt

We look forward to seeing everyone at round 2 in sunny Sheffield where a crate of fine ale awaits the best-dressed 70's race team!

North East League
It was a cold and windy night, but surprisingly clear at Silksworth. Did you know that you can see the sea from the top of the slope? Well you can, but this has been the first time in years that the weather was good enough for a Kings Race.

The first round went very well with a wider range of snowboarding teams coming out to play, four separate Universities brought teams, Sunderland, Northumbria and Durham for the first time, with Hull returning. The snowboarding standard was good, but Northumbria took away first prize.

The skiing was also well attended with 16 mixed teams and 7 ladies teams from 7 universities. The prize for Round one was fiercely fought over and Newcastle won the mixed racing with Sunderland winning the ladies.

However, thenight was not without incident as, particularly the red course, was a skier-eater. The most notable falls were taken by Caroline Lebuf and Victoria (Tor) Roberts. Caroline had to be carried off the slope due to a knee injury, however, she insisted on being carried around the poles so as not to be disqualified, Tor on the other hand broke her thumb and was the only one who had to visit the hospital.

After the racing Northumbria organised a night out to 'Wiggle', a classic school disco style evening where they played such classics as 'The Hokey-Kokey'. Fun was had by all. Thanks Northumbria! Fancy Dress was a very poor show at round 1, round 2 will be 'cross-dressing'.

Midlands League
A good start to the new season was had in the Midlands - It wasn't blowing a gale, chucking it down with rain and not a blizzard in sight at Swadlincote! The racing was of a good standard for round 1 - A few lazy summer legs were evident (especially in the Kings Officials camp , Mentioning no names Mr Dockerty!) and it is always pleasing seeing those new to our deviant breed of plastic fun improving over the season. We have no doubt this season will be any different. Strong legs in the Loughborough boarders team though - with jump starts OVER the start gate were order of the day! It's a pity that it only got them 4th place in the Boarders competition.

The Ladies were Loughborough's saving grace with their 1st team winning the Ladies competition over Nottingham Ladies.

But was Nottingham's night with their boarders team remaining unbeaten at the end of the night earning the top slot ahead of Warwick and Brum 1st teams in the boarding competition. The shock news of the Round was in the Mixed Ski competition where due to a disqualification (& a darn fine ski may I add!) in the Final Nottingham's 2nd team Beat their 1st (all skiing & all dancing) team to the No. 1 position on the podium! Loughborough 1 eat your heart out - The Milky bar Kid has left the building!

It is worth noting that Warwick took top dog slot in the 'Fake Belnor' testimonial Boat race at the presentations. Weapon of choice - A pint of Fake Belnor. The Prize for the victor - 2 bottles more bottles of Fake Belnor! Why I hear you cry? It must be the Glory 'cos it ain't the prizes !!

Winner of the Smuggest grin of the night was won hands down by Swadlincote Slope Manager (& Loughborough old boy) Adam French who is trading the sunny slopes of Swady for Les Deux Alps. We would like to wish him plenty of powder and thank him for the support (& tolerance!) he has shown Kings in the Midlands.

London & Southern League
Once again the chaos, nakedness and occasional skiing which constitutes the Kings race series hit the exotic heights of High Wycombe for the start of this years competition. In usual style, Huskis were already in the bar whilst Portsmouth were "somewhere around the M25". During the registration the shocking revelation that "Skiworld have Holloway's women" was made, although whether they wanted them back was another matter. Kent, however, employed another tactic of catching the officials' eye by recruiting a self confessed Double-D race captain (Unlike the northern rounds, this was not a bloke) - Mr Waller senior, I take it we will be having the pleasure of your company to "check on the progress of the L&S" at the next round?! Thankfully the weather was better than in previous years, but Ali Hills must have been pretty cold in that policewoman's uniform…

This of course was the first round at Wycombe Summit for which helmets are compulsory - but although Kings have been racing at the slope for years, the staff only provided enough helmets for about 80% of the teams, which led to much "hilarity" trying to get not only the right number of racers but also a helmet each (which does have to be worn on your head, thank you Cambridge) in the gates. They've got a month to sort it out, so lets see what happens!

So onto the racing, which saw a return to the slopes for last years official and GB team member Gary Ford, who has miraculously reaffiliated with Kent Ski Club, much to the annoyance of the Portsmouth boarding team (we all hate him anyway because he drives a TT) - even after a very contentious overruling of an officials decision to disqualify them for straddling (I know it must be hard to do on a snowboard, but Sean had cried off home by the time the protest was made so we never found out!) the Kent boarders were undefeated. Obviously Imperial 2 sympathised with them though, by trying very hard to take out Sean who was flagging (or not) at the bottom of the slope - never mind guys, with a bit of practice I'm sure your aim will improve!!

Most of the time it was Battle of the Ringers, with most Unis calling in the odd favour from someone who once possibly went to the open day… I am convinced that, come the next round, someone will profess to have gone to Uni with Alain Baxter!?! And have Skiworld relocated their offices to Holloway..?

Most rousing of all were the race offs, which saw a Southampton Boarders v Southampton Mono battle for 3rd and 4th places, which unfortunately was not won by Mono Les and his 3 mincing buddies.

Southampton were also up against Holloway for 14th/15th place in the mixed, and in a spectacular display of stunt skiing both teams managed to simultaneously wipe out, before Lady Penelope very graciously handed victory to the opposition by head butting one of the poles - bet you were glad of that helmet then!?!

So onto the real competition, the fancy dress - as ever the only possible winners of the crate of Stella were Southampton who, despite recycling their Ghostbusters costumes from last season, managed to whip up some Thunderbirds outfits from nothing but some fuzzy felt and sticky back plastic - your Mothers would be very proud!

The only disappointment of the evening was the point blank refusal of the cabbage by Kent ladies who were completely trounced by their opposition - still, a student house somewhere in Surrey ate very well that night (no doubt cooked using their wooden spoon!).

Don't forget that on the 16th Nov it's back to Wycombe once again, when the Roman Empire will be descending on the slopes (and hopefully Huskis will have more than one racer in fancy dress!).

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