the insider tells all - pt iii

Did you hear the one about the ski guide who said when confronted by a distraught punter on the slopes accusing him of not sticking to the easier green runs, "Well that's f**king green isn't it"... as he pointed to a tree!

A jolly comment recently seen in a guest book in Courchevel:

"We timed it wrong for our chalet manager's cycle, otherwise fantastic!!"

I heard on a recent trip to Alpe d'Huez a great story about of one of the nannies working over there.  

It was her first season so before she came out she was very careful about packing her suitcase - and making sure she had everything on her employer's 'essential items list'.   

One of the 'essential' items was contact lens fluid which she duly went out, bought and packed.   The funny thing is, though, she doesn't even wear glasses let alone contacts!

Pop Quiz - You're sitting on a chairlift, it’s minus 15, you're wrapped up nice and warm and the only thing exposed is your mouth. Do you:

A) Make light and general conversation about the weather and current political situation?

B) Impress the girl beside you with your command of her native language?

C) Decide to press you tongue against the frozen metal of the lift?

Everyone who didn’t answer C read on….

A certain chalet boy, who shall remain nameless only for the reason that anyone this stupid is living on borrowed time.  While on a chair lift up from Le Tania this genius decided to press his tongue against the frozen metal of the lift (I guess to see how cold it was...).  Unfortunately he left a little tongue behind, as you do. So if you riding on chair number 67 up from La Tania keep an eye open for bits of tongue!