Happy New Year and a Bonne Année to you from the resort of a thousand poodles, where the prices are high, but the skiing's to die (for Sweetie) and the locals will party all day and all night.
Sorry, overdose of crass musicals and dodgy gameshows forced upon us in the name of Yule is having an effect.
Speaking of Yule, the tidal wave of over eating, over-drinking and over-aged bearded blokes in dirty orifices has finally passed leaving many a shipwrecked chalet girl in its wake and a lot of job vacancies. Two weeks of serious partying, universal PMT (pre-millennium tension), great snow conditions, a prevalence of top totty in resort AND having to work a zillion hours have taken it's toll. Easyjet flights out of here are reported to be packed out with distraught young women suffering the onset of the Orangina figure and extreme Blighty nostalgia, all homeward bound after discovering that it's impossible to share a room the size of a wheelie bin with four similar girlies and shag. Nightmare!
Lining the roadways are hundreds of bedraggled surf bums, who despite not washing for weeks and replying "Yo, man" whenever spoken to, never got to pull the cool rich chick and hence find a doss for the season. Blimey!
Yes, there are many disillusioned and despondent staff out there. Those that haven't slunk home yet are to be found in bars from Le Praz to 1850, muttering darkly about shit wages, nightmare punters and reps that need to whistle on the dunny in order to know which end to wipe.
Hang on in there folks. A few days sans alcohol, some sleep and big days out on the hill will restore your pulling ability, drinking capacity and joie de vivre. Then there's the mid-season blues to look forward to...more of that later.
So, the Millennium fireworks went off, we all drank as much as usual, some of us scored, some of us didn't and most of us were too wired to even go there. Reports of gendarmes using CS gas in the name of crowd control up at 1850 are drifting in, but nobody remembers actually being there. Aside from that no bugs took over and nothing more serious than any other party night occurred.
Speaking of bugs, most of us have been or are still being zapped by a particularly unsociable virus. If you're a boy this will have been a dreadful flu bug leaving you bed bound and incapable of anything for days. Us girlies on the other hand will have merely had a bad cold requiring the use of buckets of moisturiser and foundation to prevent most of our faces peeling away. Get well soon people!
Other news bites...
*Jesus passed thru briefly and some of us were lucky enough to experience a Second Coming...
*A short ginger bird is reported to have landed in 1850 and is actively searching BVCPs*, especially indigenous
*Several long birds in the lower resorts have apparently got lost in the Gobi desert and are searching desperately
for an oasis...
*The staff T-shirts are coming...watch out for two long blondes visiting your chalet in the next few days, to take
your money and your nickname. This year's T's are top styley, with new designs and colours AND you'll get them
before the end of the season. Amazing!
*The Russians are here...
Hasta La Vista babies
Scorchio et ciao
*BVCP - blue veined custard pumper