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 Val
d'Isere gossip
The New Year in Val was welcomed in in style. Thousands
of people poured out of the pubs and clubs to celebrate aided by
huge quantities of alcohol and even more bangers and fireworks.
The snow is fantastic in the Espace Killy ski area with pockets
of powder still available if you know where to go (worth hiring
a guide if you don't). The snow park is now open with a new 15metre
rail slide which has the pro's from Tignes coming over for some
fun.
We have the students in this week so the pubs and clubs will once
again be full of doctors, nurses, schoolgirls, monsters, Ali G's
and who knows what? A full report of the carnage next week. Enjoy
the gossip:
Testing Testing
Ben (Snowtec) used to work for BBC radio Cornwall and was therefore
press-ganged into recording some ads for Radio Will. This is not
the easiest thing to do and usually requires a few takes, as was
the case for the Hotel Kandahar ad for their bar. Will went straight
out skiing and left his boss to edit it, except that he forgot.
So... if you were listening to Radio Val on Monday it went like
this; BEN: 'The bar of the Hotel Tankadar, oh shit, I've got that
wrong, bol**cks.. hhhhhhhhhhmmmmm (big throat clear to clear all
the grollies).. the bar of the Hotel Kandahar.....’ from there it
went without a hitch!!
Computer wizard in Tocade tantrum!!
Powder Monkey Pat nipped to the tocade for a burger after a few
pints of Irish gravy in the Pacific the other night. Being a true
Englishman, he asked for it cremated, or at least unbloody. The
first time it came out he said; 'A good vet would have got it back
on it's feet, the geezer barely showed it the stove let alone put
it on there'. The bloke took it back reluctantly and cooked it a
bit more. When it came back and still had blood coming out of it,
Val's computer wizz asked him to cook it again. The Tocade employee
started throwing his arms in the air and getting a general wendy
on, at which point pat launched the burger over the counter complete
with chips, straight in the burgerman's face...
 Reign
of terror over
Neo-Stalinist restaurant supervisor Sabine has fallen foul of her
own dictats, one of which was that if you're late for work you have
to do a whole week of early brekko shifts. Following a night of
passion with Tom (Chalet Moris) she was late and has since resigned.
To make matters worse, Tom did a runner after 'crashing the yogurt
truck', while she was in the loo.
A skiing lesson (allegedly)?
A ski instructor took a 50-something lady out for a private lesson
the other day and didn't get round to teaching her much about skiing.
Instead he made her go and buy a new pair of ski boots because her
old ones 'were not aligned properly' and a new hat because it was
'not appropriate for the nursery slopes?! '
That took up the first of the 3 hrs. Then, while falling off a chairlift,
the pupil scuffed the 'instructor's' new Fischer ski boots which
he spent the next two polishing and buffing. Other members of his
team would like to point out that they take a more professional
approach.
New Year Napping Nanny
Nannies traditionally look after small dribbling people but on NY’s
Eve the tables were turned when one of the yellow coat’s new recruits
was found taking an unplanned siesta in a ditch on the Village piste
just after midnight. Luckily for her Fay (Precision) and a couple
of fellow revelers came upon her before she welcomed in the New
Year with a severe case of frostbite and a possible early departure.
Jailhouse rock
Ed (Mullit Rock n’roller) finally got out of the Danois at 1pm on
NY’s day only to find he had forgotten his keys to his apartment
so he bedded down in the foyer. Next thing he knew he was woken
up first by an ambulance man then by the police.
 New
Year Nit Bits.
Sam (Dicks) celebrated the New Year in the Scottish way. Pippin
(Val Service) got some VIP treatment.
Written by the infamous and talented Muckspreader
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