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CONFESSIONS OF A HANDYMAN

05 June 2003


Like all jobs, there are pros and cons to working as a handyman (or woman). If you can cope with the low wages, no chance of tips and no honesty bar to run, you will be laughing all the way to the slopes, as the handyman gets more ski time than anyone else in the resort.

It's all in the planning
If you plan your week well, it is possible to ski lift open to lift close for five days - leaving you one day for shopping and then the usual transfer day headaches.

That said, there is no plausible reason for your manager getting you up early on transfer day - while chalet hosts are up bright and early at 4am, you can sleep easy 'til 9am, safe in the knowledge that your work is better done after the guests have gone.

Work (relatively) hard on transfer day, and there will be very little to do during the week. The odd light bulb to change and door to jig around is about the sum total of a weekday's work.

Will work for beer
Most of your work, ironically, will not stem from the chalets at all, but the staff apartments. At the start of the season, everyone will want a snowboard rack/extra shelves/more coat hooks, so it's best to arrange yourself a standard tariff for staff work - a beer related scale works well.

As the season progresses, the staff will keep you busy (and in the beer) by kicking doors off hinges, breaking beds during bouts of rigorous sex and tripping over carpets. Of course, as you have access to all the tools and materials, there is no excuse for a lack of coat hooks or shelves in your room…

Just how handy do you have to be?

Handymen don't necessarily need to be qualified electricians or CORGI registered plumbers. Although a bit of electrical know-how is required, if you're able to hang a light fitting on plasterboard, then you'll be fine.

If anything serious goes wrong, is likely to be a case of calling in a service engineer and helping him/her out (alternatively, you can always tackle the problem yourself if you feel you are up to it).

It's also well worth getting to know the owners of the chalets you're working in, as they will know what may go wrong, and will have to approve any big expenditure you make. The biggest challenge you're likely to face as a handyman is trying to fill your time.

Alternative activities
It's worth having an alternative to drinking for the days when the weather is bad. A good one being finding out if chalet hosts from other companies need any maintenance done (for a modest charge).

If you have one, take a laptop out with you - this will allow you to check your email much more cheaply than using internet terminals in resort. You can also charge your mates for checking email, and - if you've got a CD burner - run a CD copying service (within copyright laws, of course).


Handy Top Tips:

- Always carry a book to write down maintenance problems – guests and staff can, and will, collar you at any moment (including the late night chip queue), and tell you something that needs doing.

- Carry a Leatherman with you at all times, as most of your time is spent carrying tools and materials around resort. A Leatherman could save you hours of traipsing around in the snow.

- Buy lots of light bulbs – electricity supplies in ski resorts seem to blow lots of light bulbs. Reckon on every bulb in a chalet blowing once in a season, and show the chalet hosts how to change them.

- Get to know the guests in one chalet on transfer day. Then, when you rock up and nick their breakfast in the morning, they know who you are.

- Push for a company ski jacket. You are going to spend more time walking round in the snow than the reps or resort manager, so it’s only fair. Also helps people identify who you are when you stroll into their chalet holding a big hammer

- Get a portable CD/MD/MP3 player to ease the tedious walks between chalets carrying a heavy toolbox.

Nick Roberts was a handyman in Val Thorens

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