The Diary of Simone Down (Broken Skier and Chalet Hoe)

Weight: Don't even want to think about it
Cigarettes: 28, but really only 14 as power smoked outside in the cold)
Alcohol Units: Too many to count, somewhere in the 1000's
Liver: 100 per cent proof, have turned into human equivalent of bottle of Jack Daniels
Clothes: too tight, worn out, watermarked and worn to death

Staff Day trip to Lake Annecy

7.30am Load onto coach bleary eyed and in shock from getting up so early on day off
9.30am Meet up with last year's friends and co-workers who, in the tradition of last years day out are already completely buckled. Have vodka and orange thrust into hand when they realise with disgust that I am still sober.
11.30am Arrive at Annecy. Hopes of sitting by the lake, bathed in sunshine are dashed. It's hammering with rain.
Lunchtime: Wander aimlessly around town and half-heartedly pile into local bar. Owners arenot impressed with "Peesed up Enleesh tourists". Chef Aidan, Fast Eddie, Ghetto John and New Host Phil tackle the yard of tequila. Chef Aidan noticeably pales and starts shivering.
2pm Feeling better (ie drunk) make our way back to coaches for second part of day out, the bowling alley. On coach, singing ensues, led by Fairy Head Becky, MC'ing at front of coach. Told to "calm down and stop getting over excited" by boss. Arrive at Bowling Alley, can't get a lane. Chef Aidan takes matters into his own hands and chucks bowling balls down other lanes instead.
7pm After too many beers load back onto coaches, pissed, tired, and wanting to go home. Because of this, all of us, who are usually one big happy family start turning on each other.
9pm Get back to Courchevel vowing never to leave resort again.

Indulge me for a while….

You experience many 'life moments' when working a season in the mountains. It's the sense that everything in your world is great and you appreciate the moment as you are having it.

Too often we realise how happy we were, looking back with hindsight or looking forward to a hazy future. The thing about being here, living the life of a seasonaire is that you will always feel and appreciate these 'happy flashes' as and when they happen; ski-ing down a tree-lined run, your friends following you, the sun rising above the mountain range, or simply sitting in your new local bar, surrounded by like-minded people, talking about the great day you've just shared and looking forward to the evening ahead (when there is a group of twenty of you, you will always have a good time).

For everyone who has doubts as well as aspirations to working a season, hesitate no more! Good memories and moments of contentment is what matters, and out here you get plenty. Get your mental photo album full. [Written during my own 'life moment', surrounded by mountains, sitting on top of one, sun beating down and surrounded by good mates.]

Hitchin' A ride

After two months of 'going to', Slim Shayley and I embarked on a road trip with a difference when we managed to thumb a lift from Courchevel to Tignes. Setting off with a bottle of Bucks Flat (white wine and orange juice) for confidence and worrying looks from fellow workers we made it in one piece after meeting a lot of interesting, kind hearted people who took pity on two stranded girls shivering in the rain. Best Hitch was four lads who took us on a heart-stopping wild car ride up the mountain to Tignes, blasting techno in our ears ("you are liking") and fumes from their spliffs up our noses before dropping us off in the middle of a forest. Great to visit another resort and see friends from last season, even better to get back. (And somehow, the booze bear managed to hitch with us, as he definitely gave me a battering that night).

Only six weeks to go and this is what we've missed about England…

Marmite, Eastenders, being able to wear strappy sandals, the premiership, square bread, being able to walk on a pavement without executing arm-flailing, feet skidding motions, new series of Friends, ER and Sex and the City, Heat magazine, The Sun, a curry, not putting on weight, paying less than £4 for a plate of chips, Heinz beans, Stella Artois, Topshop & Warehouse, Redbull, not paying a weeks wage to see the doctor, your friends, your family.

But on the other hand, we don't miss…

The rain, the stress & boredom of a 9-5 job, the feeling that we should be 'out there, doing something', the bar fights, the way strangers stay strangers, the same routine, the unremarkable landscape, not being affected by the altitude (you can blame everything on it).

Further Categories for the Courchevel 2002 Awards

'The Daddy' of Playstation 2 game: Crazy Taxi

Battling it out on the thumbpad are Handyman Joe, Rep Gareth, Chef Joe, New Manager Symon and Hostess Shayley.

'Least likely to cope with a hangover'

Definitely Symon, who after a couple of shandies the other night, had to take to his bed and shiver under the duvet all day after making heroic type efforts to soak up the excess booze with a burger and chips at the Ski Lodge in La Tania. Sitting in the back of a van took their toll and he had to leap out a la A-team style, to indulge in some heavy breathing before collapsing into the pub in a semi -conscious state trying to avoid our cigarette smoke and inane chatter. Definitely the ambassador of the Bad Day.

Another one bites the dust

Miles Escow, our esteemed hotel manager has decided he has had enough of transfer days and putting up with whingeing customers and staff alike. He will be returning to London to earn proper money for his imminent trip to Greece. Having clocked up more nicknames than anyone here ("one piece", Smiles, Piles, Ebenezer, "Hosts", Milo, Scrooge) and keeping us entertained when he struts around in his one-piece ski suit with contrasting purple shoulder stripes and subjecting us to his fondness for Euro-pop, we will miss him more than he thinks we will, as all staff upon hearing of his departure started enquiring as to whether we could have his job/bedroom/skis/laptop (we're a sensitive bunch).

So Au revoir Milo, don't go too stir-crazy behind a desk and we hope you have happy and endearing memories of all your "kitchen and host bitches". One more thing: go make me some 'fackin' eggs! xxxx

Report from Simone Down - Natives Resort Reporter in Courchevel

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