Report on Kings Ski Club Round 3 from James Radmall

Sponsored by:

North East | North West | Midlands | Southern | Western | Pics

North East League

The return to Sheffield on a Saturday night was met with pleasure by the racers. The course was interesting to say the least. Put up late by the slope and with little or no practice time it was miles apart, vastly different and very very tight, even the good skiers struggled in the beginning.
Sunderland started the night where they had left off the first two rounds with both Lisa Keegan and Tarrin Archibold back they were up to full strength again. Hallam, Newcastle and new arrivals at the top Durham stayed biting at their heals but Sheffield were having a mare. Cheggers topped it all with the most blatant of disqualifications putting them in the bottom half for the second half. Hallam and Sunderland were having a storming night with all their teams in the top section
The boarding saw two Uni's entering this time, Hull showed their superiority with Hallam 3 close behind and well ahead of 1 & 2.

Into the second half and Sheffield were starting to show the sort of form we expect, their final position thwarted by their first half performance. Newcastle 1 stepped up against Hull 1, Simon (Newcastle) missed a gate, was running back and Hull thought they had it in the bag. Newcastle however kept on battling and as Jamie Wallace stood in the start gate he knew that with a big effort Newcastle could recover to win the race. One big start, sat back on his skis, hit the edge of the slope, bindings popped (allegedly) and he was over. Jamie then receives the biggest cheer of the night. Dejected he walks back to the top of the slope retiring,

Dejected Newcastle stand up to challenge Hallam 1. As the last racers leave we had Jamie Wallace against Frank Reardon, both excellent competitors from ESC days gone. So closely matched and determined these two were that Anne calls the result a dead heat - rerun required. At the second opportunity Newcastle crumble under the pressure in the middle order and lose, that DNF earlier costing them dear and 7th place was the highest they could get after that.
Sunderland eased towards the final until their last racer jump started at a key point and they ended up racing Hallam 3, who had sneaked up by not getting themselves DSQ'd, for 3rd.
The final ends up being Durham 1 v Hallam 1 with Hallam taking the honours.
Hull had come festive, Tim Humphries even went to the trouble of pigtails and a Santa Hat, though the pigtails flew as he cart wheeled down the slope.

A tentative effort was made for the fancy dress, Hallam had read the web site and came slightly in a mild Circus theme - wigs and they had the horn, a large a noisy one.

Sheffield had done their best to put on a night out however the official's REAL work prevented them going and the short notice had it's effects too. Looks like the night out after Collegiates is going to be good though, it's already in the planning stages and it's 3 months away.
Looking forward to Sunderland for round 4 where all will be decided and Sunderland Uni are hosting the drinking - fancy dress: Uniforms. Who will take Hallam's glory from under their feet and steal the final beer prize?

Back to Top

North West League

Rossendale was the venue for the third race of the season. Matt (KSC Official) was back, happily waving flags at the bottom - some people are easily amused! The course was identical to Round 1 (read the 1st Round Race Report for more info on terrain and colour of poles used).

Twenty-one teams representing six Universities took part, Liverpool being the only absentee. The evening kicked off after the usual practice period.

In the mixed competition the first round went with seeding and there were no great surprises, although there were a large number of disqualifications. Leeds B having one of the more spectacular crashes when their first racer down made full use of the safety netting at the bottom.
The second round also went with seeding and the masses of disqualifications continued. Elin Williamson (Leeds University) hit the deck hardest after an unpleasant fall.

In the third and fourth play-off final it was a repeat of the last round - Salford versus Leeds A. Fortunes were reversed and it was Salford's turn to fall and hand victory to Leeds A.

The final was a repeat of rounds 1 and 2 - Bangor versus Manchester, each having secured 1 win each. The race was developing into a classic - it was neck and neck, only for Gavin from Manchester to crack under the pressure and fall in spectacular style handing Bangor their second win of the season.

In the boarding Manchester's 1st and 2nd team were once again well ahead of the pack, with Manchester A being undefeated all evening taking 1st position and their B team only beaten by their A team.

In the Ladies competition Bangor were once again dominant; taking top honours - all four ladies also raced in their only mixed team. Manchester ladies were a close second.
The best-dressed team of the evening was Lancaster University in Christmas themed fancy dress. There were Reindeer antlers, Rudolf red noses (see photo of Nick from Lancaster), tinselled poles and more…

The stage is set for a very exciting Round 4 with all to be decided. Who will be going to final? This is it kids - this is the cutting edge of student sport. Don't eat to many mince pies, have a great Christmas and see you in the Alps or at Round 4 in the New Year.

Back to Top

Midlands League

It was a very different result from previous Midlands's rounds with Birmingham University, Nottingham Trent and Nottingham University taking 1st, 2nd and 3rd positions respectively. There was also the mighty Loughborough first team being relegated to 5th position, with their 3rd and 2nd teams for last position. This was Loughborough's lowest ranking for many years. Warwick University showed their best form this season coming in at 6th and 7th.

In the Ladies event Birmingham 1 achieved the double by taking top honours followed by Loughborough with their best result of the night. Nottingham's Boarders beat off tough competition from both Keele and Birmingham to be No.1 on the night.

Nottingham Trent's glory (along with DeMonfort) was cut short by a call from their mothers to stop playing and come home early, before prize giving ……… Poor show guys.

Recognition for all the Midlands university's race captains leadership & organisation came from our illustrious KSC chairman and London & Southern league official 'Lord' Jim Allamand up north for the event. He commented that his league was more like a marauding mob in comparison at the top of the slope! In some cases it took physical effort to persuade some teams (mentioning no names) in to the starting gate (and Wycombe's slope isn't as steep as Swady ether!)

Back to Top

London & Southern League

A cold, dark, but thankfully not wet, evening at Wycombe started with the officials running from supermarket to supermarket - the demise of Chateaux Belnor has made it ridiculously hard to obtain a prize of such quality. Then we heard news that Greenwich would be late as someone had stolen the minibus. One of their teams managed to stumble to the slope 40 minutes late, just as we were starting - Wycombe had forgotten to set the courses. So with no practise on the courses, many of the racers looked distinctly below average, which was to make an amusing night for the officials at the top, and a dangerous night for Nick holding the flags as skis, skiers, boarders and the odd mono boarder propelled themselves face first at the matting, poles and officials.

The first round saw Cambridge throwing their toys again - this week they had brought two dolls and a light blue teddy. These were to see much action later on in the night, although in the first round they just amused themselves by throwing them at Matt - who accused them of "throwing their toys" at the last round. At least this week they had got the message - not a complaint from any of them - Greenwich taking the prize this week for most irritating team. In the racing it quickly became apparent that Greenwich, turning up for the first time, had hired in some of the ex-Craggy brigade, and were looking the team on form, there was even a rumour that one of the team had actually been to Greenwich, although whether this was a school trip to the observatory or the Uni has yet to be discovered. Cambridge, Southampton, Surrey and Kent lead the chasing pack in the mixed. In the ladies we had Cambridge liking the letters DSQ - all of their first round results - leaving the front running to Huskis and Holloway.

The boarding event quickly took on its usual form, with Southampton Mono's (sans Mono Les who had decided that Tignes was a nicer place to be) out performing their boarders, and Portsmouth fighting between themselves. Mono Les's team managed to perform the first backward monoboarding across the finish line - a trick that many of the boarders and skiers were to repeat later on.

And so ended a boring first half. At the intervals the Officials decided that Holloway 1 mixed had performed so badly in the first half that they left them out of the draw for the second half, and off we went. By this point the toys were seeing lots of action. Huskis had shoved a pole up the Teddy's arse and were spinning it round, but Portsmouth weren't to be outdone. With the help of a bit of whisky from Ruth and we had the wonderful sight of "Teddy á là Flambe on stick". The sight of this seemed to drive people on the hatred - Jimmy Goodwich (Southampton 1 and Captain) used it to spur himself on to the finish gate - hitting them and Nick in the process - but still getting the win. After watching more amusing antics - Teddy Baseball, destroy that Cindy, and other amusing "kill that toy" games - which managed to distract the officials so much that suddenly, as if by magic, the finals arrived.

Southampton 1 managed to take the wooden spoon in the boarding event, although how them managed to finish below Holloway/Huskis "lets run down the slope" boarders is something even the officials couldn't work out. At least their "second team" of Mono Skis managed to bum wiggle their way to fourth. It all looked to be another boring night as Portsmouth 1 took the lead over their second team in the final, however a great rugby tackle by a Portsmouth 2 supporter enable the second team to romp home. The officials, much to Portsmouth 1's disgust, ignored their protests and requests for a re-run.

In the Ladies Holloway managed to put their boards and mixed teams to shame by beating off Huskis for the win. The sight of their teddy burning bright had spurred Cambridge on - they managed to actually finish - and managed third leaving Kent and Southampton to fight for the wooden spoon - which Kent took with honours.

While in the mixed Portsmouth 1 managed to straddle, fall, and ski slightly worse than Holloway 2 to take the wooden spoon. At the top Southampton managed to beat Surrey to third, while Cambridge we out skied by Greenwich. Prizing giving was a fight over the advent calendars - with a choice of the Tweenies, Bob the Builder, Cindy and Bill and Ben. The fancy dress this week (Cowboys and Indians) wasn't to its usual high quality - Southampton without Mono Les managed a disappointing third, Kent's Cowboys managed to take second, but taking the honours, for their lame attempt at fancy dress and amusing us all with their toys, was Cambridge. What are you bring for us to destroy next time? For those that didn't hear, fancy dress next time is Bad Taste 70's & 80's.

Back to Top

Western League

Back to School night was as you should now expect from the western contingent embraced to excess with everything from gym-slips and blazers to a mad professor. Early leaders in the best fancy dress competition were the officials who had dusted off their school colours (though I paid the price for the fact that in my day short trousers were still the norm!).

After seeing Emma from Exeter sporting a tartan miniskirt it became evident that the teams with a girlie captain would have an advantage over the others . Swansea had chosen to dress festively, with a selection of angels, fairies, Santa's and Xmas trees but it must be said that fine though team captain Laura looked as a reindeer I had hoped to see her in school uniform………… little was I to know that she had a treat planned for us all in the post event school disco!!

Cardiff traditionally turned up with a number if skiers not divisible by 5 and contrary to the belief that Glamorgan university had been engulfed in a landslide (as they were a no show at rounds 1 + 2) there was a small collection of snowboarders representing the valleys folk.

Despite a cold and frosty night (and a bitter draft up my shorts) the slope was unusually muddy this was not helped by a succession of off piste accidents, Sarah (AG)(Bristol) and Laura (Swansea) beaten to the coveted "fall of the night" prize by Vicky (aka Gemma's sister) from Cardiff (though if she wants to be excused from round 4 she will need a note from her parent/guardian). The early ski races went mostly with form, however Exeter 1 having very short skirts were also short on luck (having failed their exams) and an early dsq. counting against them in what turned out to be a tied group(Kate not distracted like the male officials) resulting in the pride of Devon finishing a disappointing 9th. Swansea 1 who took the wooden spoon in the last round improved to a creditable 6th (maybe Sam should insert that Xmas tree more often!) and top of the form Bristol managed to get 3 Bristol teams in the top 5 (with many a fine schoolgirl (and schoolboy) able to exploit the officials). Cardiff 1 were the top welsh skiers finishing 4th , a fine effort bearing in mind the team concern for Vicky who was by now on her back with the school nurse (receiving treatment) . Plymouth 1 far drunker than I have seen them for many a season (and that is saying something) finished in 3rd despite having "barmy " the wax man forcibly removed from the playground for breaking rule 107 (getting on my tits) and punished by way of detention. Bristol 1 despite a cautious start in the final teaching Bristol 2 a lesson, and giving them a caning! The wooden spoon was clinched by Swansea 2 proving to be the team most on need of extra homework.

The competitors in the snowboarding event (straight out of kindergarten) with GCSE's in "wearing trousers 3 sizes too big" managed too to get mud in their clothes and many had to be sent home with notes to their mum. Bristol 2 took the wooden spoon, and the re-born Glamorgan team reached a majestic 5th. League leaders Plymouth 1 were off form (with a bout of chicken pox) being beaten for 3rd by Plymouth 2 (arithmetic not a strength down south) . The all welsh final seeing Swansea 1 being too strong for Cardiff 1 with all boarders heading to the tuck-shop for crisps!

The girlie racing was delayed as two competitors were noticed to be snogging in the bushes and Cardiff girls had to withdraw prematurely as Vicky was still on her back. Bristol 2 took the wooden spoon (for their cookery class) Exeter 1 bullying their way into 3rd beating Swansea 1, (too angelic) but first in the queue for the school dinners was Plymouth 1 who finally managed to whip Bristol 1, (and claim the spotted dick) all the short skirts and leg warmers were too much for the crowd (especially the old man walking his dog who I am sure passed the slope 14 times!)

The races were followed by a very rowdy assembly and prize giving and in the tightest contest Swansea took the best fancy dress for the first time, changing from their festive frocks to school uniform in order to go on to the school disco in Bristol (free entry kindly arranged by the Bristol committee………….thanx), …………………as for the school disco……………lets just say a picture paints a thousand words so check out the photo's………….with more flesh on show than the last 3 national finals put together, a banana eating competition straight out of a porn film and the "get your tits out on stage" to win a pogo stick competition………………followed by the Full Monty and "sit on Santa's sack" it was a night to remember…………..Laura captain of Swansea spent more time on stage than the headmaster and deservedly left with the pogo stick…!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All in all it was a night that will take some beating (Plymouth round 4 the challenge has been laid) ……………speaking of which I remember giving it to Becky from Plymouth on the pavement outside the club at 3 in the morning…………….(my hat that is)…………..look after it as I will be expecting it back in February!!!

North East | North West | Midlands | Southern | Western | Pics

Mail this page to a friend
What do you think? Tell us on the Message Boards