Who voted?
Sex: 52% male/48% female.
Age: 18% under 20, 63% 20-29, 15% 30-39, 4% over 40
Orientation: 94% Straight, 6% Bi, 0% Gay
Nationality: 60% Brits/English/Scots plus from Venezuela, Holland,
India, South African, Norway, Italy, Australia, Ireland and America
Status: 65% open to offers, 24% hooked up, 12% hooked up but open
to offers and four celibate
Who are the best lovers?
1. Boarders (45%)
2. Skiers (42%)
3. Telemarkers (6%)
4. Bladers (4%)
Which resorts are best for 'finding love'?
1. Val d'Isere
2. Meribel
3. Courchevel
4. Les Deux Alpes
5. St Anton
Bubbling under:
Chamonix, La Plagne, Saalbach, Verbier, Jackson Hole, Morzine, Alpe d'Huez,
Chamonix
Which is the best bar/nightclub in the Alps for pulling (and why)?
The general feeling seems to be that most bars are good as 'let's
be honest, everyone's pissed!', although it was suggested that 'any bar
full of workers and has nannies...!!' would do. The current list includes:
1. Dicks, Val d'Isere - 'I've
not gone home alone once...'.
2. Le Kalico, Courchevel 1850
- 'It has lots of dark corners'
3. Dicks, Meribel - 'Even those
with all the looks, charm and wit of roadkill have pulled there'
4. The Doron Pub, Meribel - 'The
barmaids are easy'
5. Smithies, Alpe d'Huez
- ' Because of its mad pissed-up, Up For Anything atmosphere'
Bubbling Under:
- Sub Zero, Tignes - 'because its full of filth'
- Taras, Verbier - 'bottles of vodka
cant be drunk alone!
- Le Jump Bar, Courchevel 1850 - 'good
atmosphere, music not too loud, plenty of staff so lots of choice!'
Plus:
- Balfly, Saalbach - 'best music plus verbal abuse from Pauli'
- Bar Cuba, St Anton - 'cos the
birds are too drunk to see what you look like'
- Blue Girl, Tignes - 'cos it rocks'
- Brewskis, St Martin - 'they're
all fit, very drunk and sometimes scandi'
- Bubble Bar, Courchevel 1650
- Cafe Blanc, Bormio - 'lots of beautiful Italians'
- Club 21, Val d'Isere - 'during
student week at start of Christmas'
- Club Tropicana, Alpe d'Huez - 'hot bunch of sexy workers all groovin
down'
- Corrigans, Les Deux Alpes - 'Both
sex toilets' (???)
- Cocoon Club, Megeve - A bonkers bar-maid and you're soon snogging the
guy next to you!
- Dicks, Chamonix - 'standards go
out the window, no one cares who they pull'
- Garage, Chamonix
- Goophys, Chamonix - 'it's full of
beautiful men'
- Krazy Kangaruh, St Anton
- Le Pub, Chamonix - 'the bar maids
are easy'
- La Mine, La Plagne - 'lots of tasty blokes'
- Pacific Bar, Val d'Isere - 'The
bar staff are all models and the crowd just seem very randy'
- P Bar, St Martin - 'there are no twats from merihel there!'
- Pub Mont Fort, Verbier - 'All
the seasonaires are downstairs which makes it easy!'
- Red Hot Saloon, Les Arcs
- Rond-point, Meribel - 'because
you pull early'
- Scotties, St Anton - 'full of
desperate seasonnaires'
- TJs, Courchevel
- The Farm Club, Verbier - 'because
anyone under the age of 30 has their choice of the ladies'
- The Red Frog, Les 2 Alpes
- The Ski Lodge, La Tania - 'free
drinks from the staff' [watch out Tim!]
- The Underground St Anton -
'Rich up4it blokes'
- Wild Wallabies, Chamonix
What is the best chat-up line you've heard in a ski resort?
Some of the best (and printable) follow...
- You're not a bad skier for a BIRD!!!!
- Fancy a shag??? No!! Well do you mind lying down cause I do!!
- I believe you are what you eat, and in the morning i want to be you!
- you remind me of a girl in a tea advert
- do you want to walk home (up the piste!)
- you rip! [flattery works, see]
- didn't I have sex with you in the toilets at dicks tea bar last weekend
- do you mind if i take my clothes off?
- your eyes are the same colour as my porsche
- i'm not wearing any underwear!
- Would you like to dance? Yeah? Well piss off then as I want to talk
to your mate!
- Tell me, what do you do with the snow in summer?
- See that helicopter over there, thats mine that is
- Can I buy you some of that red hot stuff??
- nice legs!!! What time do they open?
- Have you ever had sex on a pool table?
- Fancy a free wax?
- your eyes are the same color as my porsche
- Fancy a fuck? No ? Do you mind lying down while I have one then?
- Can I drive with you?
- Have you got a hen house? ...No... Can I put my cock in you then!! ...Slap...
- They've turned the lights on, do you fancy it?
- [Spot on Austin Powers impression] What say we go out back and shag?
- Let's shag, you know you want me!
- Hi...I'm the Orgasmatron..a walking talking solar powered human vibrator.
Fancy some?
- Have you ever done it in the FuniSpace?
- Do you want to ride home with me on my toboggon
- I've just been learning to ski, but I can't seem to keep my legs together
when I'm moving!!
- You don't need a guide to ride in my backcountry!
- Have you ever had sex on the back of a skidoo?
- I am a personal friend of the owner of Dicks
- I'm not f**king breakdancing, but I'll snog you
- I've only got a little dick, but 17 stone to bang it in with
- You're not the bunny-boiler from Bellecote are you?
What is the sexiest job in resort?
1. Instructor (24%)
2. Barman (19%)
3. Guide (14%)
4. Nanny (7%)
5. Handyman (6%)
Plus shouts for DJ, Driver, Rep, Nanny, Handyman, Pro-skiers ('sorry -
tragic cliche, but true, nonetheless'), Beauty Therapist, Pimp, Lawnmower
Driver
Which of the following terms gets you excited?
1. Backcountry (51%)
2. Freeride (48%)
3. Face Shots (31%)
4. Hot Wax (28%)
Where's the most risque place you've had sex?
27% - On the Mountain
22% - Jacuzzi/Hot Tub
16% - Chalet/Apt Balcony
12% - Bubble Lift
10% - Laundry Room
7% - Bar/Restaurant
6% - Chalet/Restaurant kitchen
Plus other adventurous shouts for:
- On the pool table in the Chalet Lounge
- Snow Train
- Sauna
- Skiddoo garage under lift station
- Resort cinema
- Storage room in the Saloon Bar, Val d'Isere
- Solaise Chair in Val
- Meribel cinema
- Brewskis pool table
- Windowsill
- Hotel manager's bedroom with hotel manager's wife
- Boss' office
- Bus stop
- Chalet kitchen 2am while punter's father was asleep in the next room
- Transfer bus toilet
- The dance floor Ski Lodge, La Tania [Didn't say if it was open at the
time?]
- empty hotel room when you shouldn't be there!
- Frejus tunnel while driving [!!!]
- DJ booth Dicks Val
- outside behind the hotel at 4 am minus 8
Do you 'do' punters?
85% say yes
How many partners do you have during a season?
The final average...4.1
Does your sex drive increase at altitude?
76% say yes
And finally do our voters know what they are talking about...how do
they rate themselves in bed???
27% are 'God's Gift'
58% are 'Effective'
12% are 'Improving'
1% are 'Limp'
