You the Jury

verdicts '04 verdicts '03 verdicts '02 verdicts '01 verdicts '00 verdicts '99
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the natives sex survey - the final results

1. Who voted?

Sex: 49% male/51% female.
Age: 31% under 20, 62% 20-29, 8% 30-39, 1% over 60!
Orientation: 92% Straight, 5% Bi, 3% Gay
Nationality: Mostly Brits plus Americans, Canadians, French, Manx, Swedish, Kiwis, Aussies
Status: 65% open to offers, 2% married, 18% hooked up, 12% hooked up but open to offers, 1% having affairs and one sole person celibate (which kinda makes sense).

2. Who are the best lovers?

1. Skiers (52%)
2. Boarders (40%)
3. Cross-country skiers (1%)

3. Which resorts are best for 'finding love'?

1. Meribel
2. Val d'Isere
3. Courchevel
4. Chamonix
5= Verbier/Alpe d'Huez

Bubbling under:
Arinsal, Kitzbuhel, La Plagne, Les Deux Alpes, Montgenevre, Morzine, Sauze, Val Gardena

4. Which is the best bar/nightclub in the Alps for pulling (and why)?

The general feeling seems to be that most bars are good as 'they're full of drunkish randy snow lovers', although it was suggested that 'if you're a girl, it's easy pretty much anywhere!'

1. Dicks, Meribel
One of the main advantages about this buzzing venue seems to be that it's very dark! Plus, as one voter put it, 'Everyone's so pissed that by three in the morning all you have to do is simply direct your victim homeward bound.'

2. Kalico, Courchevel 1850
Despite a change in management, the Kalico is still working its magic after the other bars close: 'It's easy to pull in there - everyone is up for anything!'

3. Dicks, Val d'Isere
The original place to pull in the Alps, with the Members Bar the preferred location (see below)

Plus honorable mentions for:
Cafe Face, Val d'Isere ('Because you don't have to take your boots off')
Darby Bar, Sauze ('Cos I pulled there')
Dodgy Phil's, Meribel ('No holds barred action on drinking')
Dusty's, Whistler ('Never failed to pull there')
Kartouche, St Anton ('Everyone snogs there')
Foret Bar, Val ('Lots of loose women')
Friends, Val Thorens
Help, Aosta ('Really mad for it!')
Igglo, Schladming
Jacks, Meribel ('Great happy hour')
JCs, Val d'Isere ('Sells Mutzig love potion')
Jump Bar, Courchevel ('because if you spot someone you like there once, you can be sure they will be there again the next day at the same time!')
La Grange, Chatel
L'Aventure, Val d'Isere ('What do expect from a club that puts a d/bed on the dance floor!!')
Le Paradis Club, Morzine ('Pink zebra print sofas never fail!!')
Malaysia Bar, Val Thorens ('Everyone who goes there is desparate')
Mont Fort, Verbier
Montania, Livigno ('They are just panting in there')
The Capricorne, Meribel ('Mutzig makes it easy')
O'Sharkey's, Alpe d'Huez ('The atmosphere seems to encourage utter slags (like me!)')
Office Bar, Argentiere
Popcorn, Saas Fee
Ramskis, Val d'lsere ('After a few of cocktails everyone looks good and is speaking with an ozzy accent, what more can a girl wish for?')
Roadhouse, Alpe d'Huez ('Wall to wall punani')
Rond Point, Meribel
Smithies, Alpe d'Huez ('Gagging chalet birds and horny punters thrown in for good measure')
Smokey Joes, Deux Alpes
The Bubble Bar, Courchevel 1650
The Cavern, Morzine ('Everyone's gagging for it!')
The Conga, Megeve ('Very cosy!)
The Doron Pub, Meribel ('Packed with punani')
The Londoner, Kitzbuhel
The Schuss, Sauze
The Yeti, Serre Chevalier ('Full of luscious Army Officers EVERY New Year!')
Wild Wallabies, Chamonix
Wobbly Rabbit, Tignes ('Everyone is drunk!)

5. What is the best chat-up line you've heard in a ski resort?

Some of the best (and printable) follow...

- I'm the best sex you'll never had
- i'm ugly, so are you, lets get togteher
- Is it true that a man with long skis has strong legs and then transscribes his strength to bed?
- Is that a pair of AK Rockets in your trousers or are you just pleased to see me?
- I've got 11 condoms in my pocket for tonight, and at least 3 of them are for you!
- Just because i sleep wiv you tonight, doesnt mean i'll ski wiv u tomorrow
- Just remember that an army-boy is for christmas - not for life.
- My cum is made of chocolate d'you want some.
- (whilst feeling their breasts or crotch) 'slap me if you want to fuck me'
- (Millennium) This only comes once every thousand years baby
- Most English girls who come here are sluts, but you're clearly not - would you like a drink?
- can i help you with your kit?
- quele heure knock off?
- i want to spend some time with you
- so then Bob, do you wax yours?!!
- Trust me, I'm a physio, it's not broken, i'll come home with you and massage it!!!
- Want a shag?
- Whats a nice girl like you doing running through a dirty mind like mine ???
- Would you like to give me a blow job in dicks car park?
- Would you like to go fishing?
- You're coming home with me
- My best sheep has a tongue piercing. What chance?
- Hurry up in the toilet. I've got a kiss for you when you get back.
- I make love like a caterpillar
- Can i prove to you that ski instructors are the most badly behaved people in resort????
- can i tempt you with a pint of mutzig
- can u do a grab ?
- Come and see my chopper
- did you know that hot wax is good for carpet burns?
- Do you have an alarm clock...?
- Do you like bunkbeds....? My roommate sleeps very heavily..…
- do you ski or board? (yawn.....)
- Do you want to come outside for a spliff?
- Fancy a moonlight jump?
- Fancy some home brew?
- Have I slept with your sister?
- Have you got a good view of the slopes so I can check out the weather in the morning
- Have you heard of the bubble club?
- Have you seen Body of Evidence? because I need some help with my waxing....
- hey babe what you got in that basket?
- Hi im out here filming a new movie and we need some extras for the jacuzzi scene tonight.
- Hi, I'm a sponsored boarder. Wana spank my plank?
- Hurry up - I'm sleeping at yours tonight!
- I can guarantee you that I will have you in my bed by the end of the week!
- I could not help seeing you watching me checking you out, baby
- I dont have a key for my apartment!...
- (complete skibum legend) i live under a house, could i stay at yours?
- i share with 3 others but the i have the bed that doesn't squeek!
- i want u to ride my mountain
- if i could rearange tha alphabet id put u and i together
- If I give you a free drink do I get a fuck?
- I'm afraid I've lost my phone number - can I have yours?"
- i'm like a faulty door, i can keep banging all night.
- I'm not going to use a line on you baby!

6. What is the sexiest job in resort?

1. Instructor (29%)
2. Guide (21%)
3. Barman (15%)

7. Which of the following terms gets you excited?

1. Freeride (48%)
2. Hot Wax (33%)
3= Spread Eagle and Rodeo (28%)

8. Where's the most risque place you've had sex?

1. Bubble Lift (25%)
2. Laundry Room (18%)
3. Chalet/Hotel Balcony (12%)

Plus other adventurous shouts for:
- company minibus
- avalanche tower
- Back of a transfer bus
- button ski lift
- Dicks DJ booth Val Disere
- empty hotel room when you shouldn't be there!
- chalet kitchen at 3am
- hotel stairway, lounge and lift
- Hotel Lounge when people are still around
- in a courchevel igloo
- In the company van in the driveway of the chalet
- kitchen of the kalico, courchevel
- Members bar in Dicks Val
- On-mountain restaurant toilets
- outside behind the hotel at 4 am minus 8
- popular off piste run, in lovely deep powder snow
- skidoo shed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- The Cactus Cafe 'Meribel' 1:00am closing time over the bar
- Top lift at Flaine 8:30pm over a snowcat

9. Do you 'do' punters?

75% say yes

10. How many partners do you have during a season?

The final average...4.3

And finally do our voters know what they are talking about...how do they rate themselves in bed???

32% are 'God's Gift'
54% are 'Effective'
13% are 'Improving'
1% are 'Limp'