IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW //

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Author
  Topic Started By:  WTFH    On:  Tue 30th November, 2004 at 10:32
RidingMountains2
Member Since: 2005
Posts: 2,485
#31  Re: Peter Kay Wisdom  24 May '05 at 17:10
1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your
pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.

6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a
fire in your back garden.

9) Everyone who has just read no.5 has just typed it into a calculator.

10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your
teacher mum or dad.

1 The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
first given opportunity.

19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way
through and then raced against the flush.

21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!

22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

24) You never ever run out of salt.

25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got
your hand or head stuck in something.

2 No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard

32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

34) Bricks are horrible to carry.

35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip
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Robinq
Member Since: 2005
Posts: 479
Verbier
#32  Re: IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW  24 May '05 at 18:17
Laughing too hard.... it hurts
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ski_bummer
Member Since: 2005
Posts: 72
Wherever there's snow...
#33  Re: IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW  1 Jun '05 at 19:09
ha ha - RidingMountains2 - you have that 100% true book!!

v funny - when i found it it sparked endless scintillating converations over a pint
Life is too short to hit the small stuff
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ski_bummer
Member Since: 2005
Posts: 72
Wherever there's snow...
#34  Re: IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW  1 Jun '05 at 19:10
and on the original topic - see siggy...
Life is too short to hit the small stuff
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woody
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 1,136
Warwick
#35  Re: IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW  5 Aug '05 at 09:10
Some more words of Wisdom


Shouldn't palindrome be spelled the same backwards?


Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

You only need two tools in life, WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop.

If you get dental floss stuck between your teeth, what are you supposed to do to get that out with?

a day without sunshine is like ..............night.


- ... All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hands. -


What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?


Why do they have braille on drive up ATMs?


Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
Once you've met Glen Plake, nothing quite seems as cool anymore.

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peds
Member Since: 2005
Posts: 7,001
Chamonix
#36  Re: IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW  5 Aug '05 at 11:21
"Shouldn't palindrome be spelled the same backwards? "

I put forward the word "retrocognongocorter".
"Thrill-seeking? Sensation-seeking? What flavour is red? What colour is spice?"
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*~Larry~*
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 2,530
Bern, Switzerland
#37  Re: Re: Peter Kay Wisdom  5 Aug '05 at 11:52

Originally posted by RidingMountains2

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones. [/quote:f6fb23bc80]

Soooo true!

Originally posted by RidingMountains2

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying. [/quote:f6fb23bc80]

notmally me lol

Originally posted by RidingMountains2

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your
pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. [/quote:f6fb23bc80]

this happened to me the other week.


Originally posted by RidingMountains2

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator. [/quote:f6fb23bc80]


he he he BOOBLESS!

Originally posted by RidingMountains2

12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.


possibly on a par with wet dog? infact, no, wet dog is worse!


[quote:f6fb23bc80="RidingMountains2"]16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.


my house backs onto my primary school fields and playground - it was ALWAYS my dog that people remember running into my school! Quite cool though!

[quote:f6fb23bc80="RidingMountains2"]23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

I used to have competitions with my sister as to who could hold their breath longer or for the whol elength of my dad driving through the tunnel!! Until he cottoned on, and started driving slower for fun


[quote:f6fb23bc80="RidingMountains2"]27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got
your hand or head stuck in something

:rofl:

[quote:f6fb23bc80="RidingMountains2"]30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

I'd actually have to go with the bare footed stepping on the bit at the bottom of the door where the carpet meets the metal bit - when someone's having their carpety or floor donw, and there are little sticky up spikes that you step on and it fúcking hurts like a bítch.

[/quote]
EVERY TIME GRIFF GETS IN HIS HOT TUB - GOD KILLS A KITTEN.

TRUE STORY.
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Bags
Member Since: 2005
Posts: 2,042
London
#38  Re: IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW  5 Aug '05 at 12:43

Originally posted by woody

Shouldn't palindrome be spelled the same backwards?

Why?

Isn't that kind of like saying onomatopoeia should sound like what it means...

Which just confuses me on a Friday...
"I am a very good skier...in my mind. However, video evidence suggests that I'm rubbish. I look like a bus driver in a primary-coloured anorak, sitting on an imaginary lavatory. Also I can only turn right. So to mask my embarrassment, and the pain in my thighs, I ski only when very drunk. I can recommend this wholeheartedly." Jeremy Clarkson
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jacksalterego
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 1,317
#39  Re: IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW  5 Aug '05 at 12:55

Originally posted by Bags

Originally posted by woody

Shouldn't palindrome be spelled the same backwards?

Why?

Isn't that kind of like saying onomatopoeia should sound like what it means...

Which just confuses me on a Friday...

So you're saying you are not confused the other 6 days of the week?
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helsbels
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 2,044
Weston-super-Mare, (Winter 04/05- Lapland then Morzine - Esprit.)
#40  Re: Re: Peter Kay Wisdom  5 Aug '05 at 23:36

Originally posted by *~Larry~*



Originally posted by RidingMountains2

30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

I'd actually have to go with the bare footed stepping on the bit at the bottom of the door where the carpet meets the metal bit - when someone's having their carpety or floor donw, and there are little sticky up spikes that you step on and it fúcking hurts like a bítch.

[/quote]

ouch! yep i concur, and is it just me or does everyone do this...... when u hurt your foot or stub your toe you jump around shaking your hand and when you hurt your hand you have a dentancy to hop?!!! please tell me i'm not the only one?!
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woody
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 1,136
Warwick
#41  Re: Re: Peter Kay Wisdom  6 Aug '05 at 07:55

Originally posted by helsbels

Originally posted by *~Larry~*



Originally posted by RidingMountains2

30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

I'd actually have to go with the bare footed stepping on the bit at the bottom of the door where the carpet meets the metal bit - when someone's having their carpety or floor donw, and there are little sticky up spikes that you step on and it fúcking hurts like a bítch.


ouch! yep i concur, and is it just me or does everyone do this...... when u hurt your foot or stub your toe you jump around shaking your hand and when you hurt your hand you have a dentancy to hop?!!! please tell me i'm not the only one?! [/quote]


I tend to find that when i stub my toe my first reaction apart from hopping is to start hitting or kicking the door with my other foot, shouting 'f**king door', now why would you do this, the only result will be more pain!!
Once you've met Glen Plake, nothing quite seems as cool anymore.

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Vix63
Member Since: 2005
Posts: 1,631
here, there and everywhere
#42  Re: Re: Peter Kay Wisdom  6 Aug '05 at 13:14

Originally posted by woody

Originally posted by helsbels

Originally posted by *~Larry~*



Originally posted by RidingMountains2

30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

I'd actually have to go with the bare footed stepping on the bit at the bottom of the door where the carpet meets the metal bit - when someone's having their carpety or floor donw, and there are little sticky up spikes that you step on and it fúcking hurts like a bítch.


ouch! yep i concur, and is it just me or does everyone do this...... when u hurt your foot or stub your toe you jump around shaking your hand and when you hurt your hand you have a dentancy to hop?!!! please tell me i'm not the only one?!


I tend to find that when i stub my toe my first reaction apart from hopping is to start hitting or kicking the door with my other foot, shouting 'f**king door', now why would you do this, the only result will be more pain!![/quote]

Dont kick the door with the other foot, but for some reason I do swear a lot when faced with that situation. Hitting your funny bone's another weird one-I cringe at the thought!!!
www.myspace.com/vix63
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helsbels
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 2,044
Weston-super-Mare, (Winter 04/05- Lapland then Morzine - Esprit.)
#43  Re: Re: Peter Kay Wisdom  7 Aug '05 at 03:31

Originally posted by Vix63


Hitting your funny bone's another weird one-I cringe at the thought!!!

yep, absolutely nothing funny about it!
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helsbels
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 2,044
Weston-super-Mare, (Winter 04/05- Lapland then Morzine - Esprit.)
#44  Re: Re: Peter Kay Wisdom  7 Aug '05 at 03:32

Originally posted by Vix63


Hitting your funny bone's another weird one-I cringe at the thought!!!

yep, absolutely nothing funny about it!
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helsbels
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 2,044
Weston-super-Mare, (Winter 04/05- Lapland then Morzine - Esprit.)
#45  Re: Re: Peter Kay Wisdom  7 Aug '05 at 03:33

Originally posted by Vix63


Hitting your funny bone's another weird one-I cringe at the thought!!!

yep, absolutely nothing funny about it!
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