IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW //

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  Topic Started By:  WTFH    On:  Tue 30th November, 2004 at 10:32
layzeeboy
Member Since: 2005
Posts: 4,578
Hirafu, Japan.
#16  Re: IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW  10 May '05 at 19:11
Or knives stolen from mountain restaurants, OUCH!
Anything worth doing is worth getting hurt for

www.jameswinfield.tumblr.com
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helsbels
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 2,044
Weston-super-Mare, (Winter 04/05- Lapland then Morzine - Esprit.)
#17  Re: IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW  10 May '05 at 20:39
or forks stolen from mountain restaurants
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zack
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 36
#18  Re: IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW  12 May '05 at 11:14
In Oklahoma it is illegal for dogs to congregate in groups of three or more on private property, without a permit signed by the mayor
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helsbels
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 2,044
Weston-super-Mare, (Winter 04/05- Lapland then Morzine - Esprit.)
#19  Re: IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW  17 May '05 at 14:58
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Bits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.
101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.
and finally.........
In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the loo
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Boggart
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 11,601
Somewhere without a paddle….
#20  Re: IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW  17 May '05 at 15:01
Can't remember who it was but didn't some say that 70% of statistics are made up on the spot?

I remain,

Boggars
Don't squeeze the trigger, if you can't stand the recoil. - Johnny Cash

Knowledge is knowing that the tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Miles Kington

"And so as the loose-bowelled pigeon of time swoops low over the unsuspecting tourist of destiny, and the flatulent skunk of fate wanders into the air-conditioning system of eternity, I notice it's the end of the show." Humph's last ever ISIHAC sign-off
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fat-russ
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 547
Auchtermuchty, Fife
#21  Re: IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW  20 May '05 at 14:27
A Giraffe has the same number of cervical vertebrae as a mouse
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Boggart
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 11,601
Somewhere without a paddle….
#22  Re: IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW  20 May '05 at 14:30

Originally posted by Fat-Russ

A Giraffe has the same number of cervical vertebrae as a mouse

Fatters,

I didn't know the cevix had any bones in it!

I remain,

Boggars
Don't squeeze the trigger, if you can't stand the recoil. - Johnny Cash

Knowledge is knowing that the tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Miles Kington

"And so as the loose-bowelled pigeon of time swoops low over the unsuspecting tourist of destiny, and the flatulent skunk of fate wanders into the air-conditioning system of eternity, I notice it's the end of the show." Humph's last ever ISIHAC sign-off
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fat-russ
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 547
Auchtermuchty, Fife
#23  Re: IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW  20 May '05 at 14:36
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fat-russ
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 547
Auchtermuchty, Fife
#24  Re: IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW  20 May '05 at 14:38
Boggers

I Don’t know about the cervix of the mammals,

But some of the girls I’ve met have teeth there too




Thats better, my pc went bonkers.
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fat-russ
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 547
Auchtermuchty, Fife
#25  Re: IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW  20 May '05 at 14:56
The average length of the male penis is
Six inches
The average depth of the female vagina is eight inches.

That means there is 68402 feet of unused tw@t walking around
This country.

About 6 foot of it is still premier of this country
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WTFH
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 14,398
Surrey
#26  Re: IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW  21 May '05 at 15:45
Russ,
I post, therefore I am

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thefoolonthehill
Member Since: 2005
Posts: 143
somewhere, beyond the sea...
#27  Re: IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW  22 May '05 at 11:36
Camilla Parker Bowles is an anagram of: Balmoral Prick Weasel

almost poetic, isn't it?
2005-6 Val D; Total/Esprit
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thefoolonthehill
Member Since: 2005
Posts: 143
somewhere, beyond the sea...
#28  Re: IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW  22 May '05 at 11:54
On average, the american public spent $10 billion on pornography last year.

On average, the american government spent $8 billion on foreign aid last year.
2005-6 Val D; Total/Esprit
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RidingMountains2
Member Since: 2005
Posts: 2,485
#29  Re: IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW  24 May '05 at 16:21

Originally posted by roxy

Originally posted by Fin

3. Garlic definately does NOT improve the flavour of man juice
4. Nor do raw onions

But drinking Bombay Saphire Gin certainly does
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RidingMountains2
Member Since: 2005
Posts: 2,485
#30  Re: IMPORTANT THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW  24 May '05 at 16:22

Originally posted by *~Larry~*

Originally posted by the_doc

5. most men couldnt give a sh*t cos theyre not the one tasting it, hahahahahaha....!


never a truer word spoken,......

unless you keep it in your mouth before swallowing and insist they kiss you straight afterwards!!!

10 points to Larry for that spot on comment!!!!!
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