Groupies wanted!!! (NSFW) //

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  Topic Started By:  4playdrums    On:  Sun 6th November, 2005 at 15:31
Boggart
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 11,601
Somewhere without a paddle….
#46  Re: Groupies wanted!!! (NSFW)  8 Nov '05 at 17:49
Q: How many banjo players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five; one to screw it in and four to argue what year it was made in.

Q: What is the definition of perfect pitch?
A:Throwing a banjo into a skip without hitting the sides.

OK Belgers new rules, I'll post a banjo joke for every photo of our beloved CM.

I remain,

Boggars
Don't squeeze the trigger, if you can't stand the recoil. - Johnny Cash

Knowledge is knowing that the tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Miles Kington

"And so as the loose-bowelled pigeon of time swoops low over the unsuspecting tourist of destiny, and the flatulent skunk of fate wanders into the air-conditioning system of eternity, I notice it's the end of the show." Humph's last ever ISIHAC sign-off
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mista
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 12,998
The sticks
#47  Re: Groupies wanted!!! (NSFW)  8 Nov '05 at 17:53
Q. What is the difference between a banjo player and a bucket of sh*t?
A. The bucket

(one of the first jokes I ever learnt and useful in many different contexts )
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belgian vince
Member Since: 2005
Posts: 632
just back from australia, already back in austria
#48  Re: Groupies wanted!!! (NSFW)  8 Nov '05 at 17:55
i shall disregard that last attempt. btw, did the commission gather to discuss the change in rulementation?
"There is no sense of possibility if there is no reality, but I could be wrong of course" - R. Musil
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Boggart
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 11,601
Somewhere without a paddle….
#49  Re: Groupies wanted!!! (NSFW)  8 Nov '05 at 17:57
Misters,

Well done, Belgers now owes one more photo of Clara.

I remain,

Boggars
Don't squeeze the trigger, if you can't stand the recoil. - Johnny Cash

Knowledge is knowing that the tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Miles Kington

"And so as the loose-bowelled pigeon of time swoops low over the unsuspecting tourist of destiny, and the flatulent skunk of fate wanders into the air-conditioning system of eternity, I notice it's the end of the show." Humph's last ever ISIHAC sign-off
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mista
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 12,998
The sticks
#50  Re: Groupies wanted!!! (NSFW)  8 Nov '05 at 17:57

Originally posted by belgian vince

i shall disregard that last attempt. btw, did the commission gather to discuss the change in rulementation?

I'd like to challenge that disregard as it is clearly rlevant, the banjo and it's player are both sh*t.
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Boggart
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 11,601
Somewhere without a paddle….
#51  Re: Groupies wanted!!! (NSFW)  8 Nov '05 at 17:58

Originally posted by belgian vince

i shall disregard that last attempt. btw, did the commission gather to discuss the change in rulementation?

Belgers,

Of course they did.

I remain,

Boggars
Don't squeeze the trigger, if you can't stand the recoil. - Johnny Cash

Knowledge is knowing that the tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Miles Kington

"And so as the loose-bowelled pigeon of time swoops low over the unsuspecting tourist of destiny, and the flatulent skunk of fate wanders into the air-conditioning system of eternity, I notice it's the end of the show." Humph's last ever ISIHAC sign-off
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mista
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 12,998
The sticks
#52  Re: Groupies wanted!!! (NSFW)  8 Nov '05 at 18:01
I'd like to propose a rule change in that at any point that this thread seems to die we allow "el belgico" to give it renewed life.
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belgian vince
Member Since: 2005
Posts: 632
just back from australia, already back in austria
#53  Re: Groupies wanted!!! (NSFW)  8 Nov '05 at 18:04
just don't mention the war
"There is no sense of possibility if there is no reality, but I could be wrong of course" - R. Musil
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Boggart
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 11,601
Somewhere without a paddle….
#54  Re: Groupies wanted!!! (NSFW)  8 Nov '05 at 22:09
Q: Why are banjos better than guitars?
A: They burn longer.

Q: What's the best thing to play on a banjo?
A: A flame-thrower.

Q: What's the difference between a fiddle & a violin?
A: Who cares?!? Neither of them is a banjo!

Q: How is playing the banjo a lot like throwing a javelin blindfolded?
A: You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.

Q: What do you call twenty-five banjo players up to their necks in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

I remain,

Boggars
Don't squeeze the trigger, if you can't stand the recoil. - Johnny Cash

Knowledge is knowing that the tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Miles Kington

"And so as the loose-bowelled pigeon of time swoops low over the unsuspecting tourist of destiny, and the flatulent skunk of fate wanders into the air-conditioning system of eternity, I notice it's the end of the show." Humph's last ever ISIHAC sign-off
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mista
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 12,998
The sticks
#55  Re: Groupies wanted!!! (NSFW)  9 Nov '05 at 10:17
Q. What did the banjo player get on his IQ test

A. Drool
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mista
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 12,998
The sticks
#56  Re: Groupies wanted!!! (NSFW)  9 Nov '05 at 13:32
Dissapointed she didn't think to get her tits out for your mate, how rude

Q. What do you say to a Banjo player in a suit?

A. Will the defendant please rise

(that's the joke version, personally I prefer either "shut up" or "guilty")
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mista
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 12,998
The sticks
#57  Re: Groupies wanted!!! (NSFW)  9 Nov '05 at 13:56
Guitar player: "Say, knock knock?"

Banjo player:"Knock knock"

Guitar player:"Who's there?"

Banjo player: ....
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mista
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 12,998
The sticks
#58  Re: Groupies wanted!!! (NSFW)  9 Nov '05 at 14:02
A guitar player and a banjo player are sentenced to be shot and asked for last requests. The banjo player says, "Give me a banjo so I can play 'foggy mountain breakdown' one more time". The guitarist says "shoot me first"
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mista
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 12,998
The sticks
#59  Re: Groupies wanted!!! (NSFW)  9 Nov '05 at 14:05
This guy goes into the doctor's office with the compliant that there is something really wrong with him as everywhere he touches his body brings him to excruciating pain. "Look doc, if I touch my knee OWWWW! And my elbow OOOOW! and my forehead OUCH!!!. Doctor says, "You play the banjo don't you?". The guy is impressed with the doctor's insight. "Yes I do. How did you know?"

"Your finger's broken."
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Boggart
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 11,601
Somewhere without a paddle….
#60  Re: Groupies wanted!!! (NSFW)  9 Nov '05 at 14:19
A woman goes to the doctors and complains that she feels very unwell. The doctor examines her and then says, "I've got some very bad news, you only have six months to live."

The woman gasps, "What can I do doctor?"

The doc replies, "Well you could move in with a banjo player."

"Will I live longer?" asks the woman.

"No," the doc replies, "it will just feel like it."

I remain,

Boggars
Don't squeeze the trigger, if you can't stand the recoil. - Johnny Cash

Knowledge is knowing that the tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Miles Kington

"And so as the loose-bowelled pigeon of time swoops low over the unsuspecting tourist of destiny, and the flatulent skunk of fate wanders into the air-conditioning system of eternity, I notice it's the end of the show." Humph's last ever ISIHAC sign-off
         Jump to Top

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