Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people: //

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  Topic Started By:  Amazon    On:  Fri 23rd September, 2005 at 15:25
Amazon
Member Since: 2005
Posts: 292
Southampton..again.
#1  Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people:  23 Sep '05 at 15:25
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know
where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch
when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire
room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change
the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
F*cking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it
is. Why the f*ck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people
do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No
t****r, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the f*cking
floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?. Didn't really give me a
choice there, did you sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,
then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement,
then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the f*ck?? Life is the longest
damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come
yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?

10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So
what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?

11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No
it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an
image I really didn't need.

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't
insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a
McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have
a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you f*cking McTosser.
Garlic bread, I've tasted it, it's the future - Peter Kay in Phoenix Nights

05/06-Meribel/La Tania...Eventually Les Gets-Resort Rep
04/05-La Plagne (mostly)-Chalet Host
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Bags
Member Since: 2005
Posts: 2,042
London
#2  Re: Re: Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people:  23 Sep '05 at 16:10


I've seen these before but oh, they're good!

Originally posted by Amazon

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you f*cking McTosser.

Actually my step-sis went into McD's once and said something along the lines of:

"McHello! I'd like a McChicken Burger meal with a McCoke, a McBig Mac and a McApple Pie McPlease...etc etc"

They actually refused to serve her! I guess you can go overboard on the McThing then...

To be fair when she told me this I absolutely pissed myself at the McHello part...
"I am a very good skier...in my mind. However, video evidence suggests that I'm rubbish. I look like a bus driver in a primary-coloured anorak, sitting on an imaginary lavatory. Also I can only turn right. So to mask my embarrassment, and the pain in my thighs, I ski only when very drunk. I can recommend this wholeheartedly." Jeremy Clarkson
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user10
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 475
#3  Re: Re: Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people:  23 Sep '05 at 16:31

Originally posted by Bags

McHello

Yeah but you're a hobbit. You'll laugh at anything.

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Kenzie
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 3,051
God's own county/Tignes/South America/North America/Australasia/Asia/Africa
#4  Re: Re: Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people:  25 Sep '05 at 13:53

Originally posted by Bags



I've seen these before but oh, they're good!

Originally posted by Amazon

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you f*cking McTosser.

Actually my step-sis went into McD's once and said something along the lines of:

"McHello! I'd like a McChicken Burger meal with a McCoke, a McBig Mac and a McApple Pie McPlease...etc etc"

They actually refused to serve her! I guess you can go overboard on the McThing then...

To be fair when she told me this I absolutely pissed myself at the McHello part...

The winter can't come soon enough for you, Bags.
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seejay
Member Since: 2005
Posts: 790
Val - Newcastle - Bucks
#5  Re: Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people:  25 Sep '05 at 14:39
Another note about Maccy Dee's is if you order anything slightly different to the menu, for example a quarter pounder without cheese, they havnt got a fucking clue, and when they do realise what to do it takes them a good ten minutes to get it right. I once went to the drive thru and asked for that and had to go through 4 members of staff before they understood what i wanted...


"So... with no cheese sir?"

"Thats right."

"One second ill have to get my supervisor."


:runnynose: :chainsaw:
[color=#FF0000:e61dce8b75] its all about the [/color:e61dce8b75]: Jib-Vid
2 points up.
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drifter
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 1,013
NFA
#6  Re: Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people:  25 Sep '05 at 18:30
see-jay,

Loving the jib vids. Are you in any of the ones on the website?
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Bags
Member Since: 2005
Posts: 2,042
London
#7  Re: Re: Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people:  25 Sep '05 at 19:27

Originally posted by Coronita

Originally posted by Bags

McHello[/quote:ecfdd87e6f]

Yeah but you're a hobbit. You'll laugh at anything.




And you don't think McHello is funny!?

To be fair C you laugh at a load of dumb stuff so mereckons you is not in any position to say much!

[quote:ecfdd87e6f="seejay"]Another note about Maccy Dee's is if you order anything slightly different to the menu, for example a quarter pounder without cheese, they havnt got a f^%k clue, and when they do realise what to do it takes them a good ten minutes to get it right.

Yeah they are mostly idiots. I had one of those sub things the other day. Takes them 10 minutes to make the damn thing and they didn't even get the right one! Had to wait another 10 mins while they made the right one...

I suppose they can't help being stupid...
"I am a very good skier...in my mind. However, video evidence suggests that I'm rubbish. I look like a bus driver in a primary-coloured anorak, sitting on an imaginary lavatory. Also I can only turn right. So to mask my embarrassment, and the pain in my thighs, I ski only when very drunk. I can recommend this wholeheartedly." Jeremy Clarkson
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the_chocoholic
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 5,772
La Clusaz
#8  Re: Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people:  25 Sep '05 at 19:31
Bags, the hamster is sooooo cute. Is that a chocolate McVitie it's balancing on its head?

McHello is exceptionally funny. I'm imagining the most serious voice saying it as well, in an overly polite way.
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Bags
Member Since: 2005
Posts: 2,042
London
#9  Re: Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people:  25 Sep '05 at 19:41

Originally posted by the_chocoholic

Bags, the hamster is sooooo cute. Is that a chocolate McVitie it's balancing on its head?[/quote:aa04034794]
Yo Chocster!

Erm, actually I stole him from Techers. It's a bunny, and I think it's a pancake...? Shame I don't still have my hamster Max though because that's quite a good idea. I would totally take a photo of it for you! Not sure he had said bunny's balancing ability though...

[quote:aa04034794="the_chocoholic"]McHello is exceptionally funny. I'm imagining the most serious voice saying it as well, in an overly polite way.

Yeah my step-sis is pretty posh, and the way she tells it she was def doing the over-polite thing!

I vote everyone should say McHello next time they go into McD's. Let me know the consequences of such actions! I'm avoiding it for a bit because the idiot staff irritated me too much last time.
"I am a very good skier...in my mind. However, video evidence suggests that I'm rubbish. I look like a bus driver in a primary-coloured anorak, sitting on an imaginary lavatory. Also I can only turn right. So to mask my embarrassment, and the pain in my thighs, I ski only when very drunk. I can recommend this wholeheartedly." Jeremy Clarkson
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drifter
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 1,013
NFA
#10  Re: Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people:  25 Sep '05 at 19:54

Originally posted by the_chocoholic

Bags, the hamster is sooooo cute. Is that a chocolate McVitie it's balancing on its head?


Choco - see the lift opening thread in Q+A for more details. (techmonkeys post). Very bizarre!
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the_chocoholic
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 5,772
La Clusaz
#12  Re: Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people:  25 Sep '05 at 21:20
...errrr... you mean this one?

It's just so cute, I had to have it!
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meta
Member Since: 2005
Posts: 26
#14  Re: Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people:  25 Sep '05 at 21:34
Although my days of eating e-coli burgers and chicken fat milkshakes are over, I do remember a day when a friend of mine decided to ask one of the McTossers, as Billy Connolly so amply put it, directions to the nearest Burger King. That incited a little chuckle at the time.
Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up.
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the_chocoholic
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 5,772
La Clusaz
#15  Re: Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people:  25 Sep '05 at 23:03
TM, you can have the pooy chocky stack. I found the one with the hat and it beats all the others. Poor bloody bunny. Did you see the one with the teacup on its head? What the hell????

I might start this game with my cat.
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mista
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 12,998
The sticks
#16  Re: Re: Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people:  25 Sep '05 at 23:12

Originally posted by Amazon


8. When people say "life is short". What the f*ck?? Life is the longest
damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What can you do that's longer?

Be dead?
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the_chocoholic
Member Since: 2004
Posts: 5,772
La Clusaz
#17  Re: Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people:  25 Sep '05 at 23:14
Be re-incarnated as a dung beetle...that'd be way too long.
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